Much Ado

...here's the thing, friends. I sat down tonight to post about something. Then it changed to something else. Now? Hmm, now. Now I have no idea what to post about. You might be thinking, "then why post?" to which I answer, "...hmmm, curious. Why do I post at such uncertain times?".

I thought about posting about how I felt extremely overwhelmed today. How at times I feel overlooked and under-appreciated. How I get so, so lonely. That I have seen Cody a total of about 12 minutes in the past two days, and tomorrow he goes to work for 72 hours. These random things hit me every now and again and it can bring me down so fast. It's like it all builds and builds and then all of a sudden I want to go sit in the shower and cry. The feeling of helplessness eventually fades and I begin to realize that things aren't so out of control. But it came crashing down on me today...and that was tough.

My other topic? Ah, yes. Lately I have REALLY been wanting to get back into acting. I was in a play last Fall and have done a few commercials since, but I'm getting all fired up to do something again. Plays? Movies? Infomercials? I'm ready for my close-up, bring it on.

But my day and my fleeting post thoughts were not all of dismay - October is but a few days away. You know what that means....Mmmoooowah-Ha-Ha! This weekend I'm planning (planning...I'm making no promises here) on getting my house all decorated for the glorious Holiday that is Halloween! I have LOTS to do - so many decorations, so little wall space. There is a small snag, however. I have been wanting to paint my family room forever and for some lame reason, I decided that I would LOVE to have it done before Halloween. Beings that Cody is gone all the time I realize that the only way this can be accomplished is if I do it myself. We'll see if I can do it...before another thought of overwhelmage reeks havoc on my soul.


Kateastrophe said...

Ah sweet Jewels. I'm so sorry you're overwhelmed, overlooked and feel under-appreciated. We've talked, you know I feel the same way sometimes, and probably most of us do and the crash is a good thing (even though it sucks) because that's when you can start building yourself back up.

If it helps at all, I had a crash today too.

And ACTING! you're so amazingly talented, I can't wait to see what you do next.

and wanna know what's SAD? My husband planned a trip to the sand dunes over the weekend before Halloween so i can't attend the parties I've been invited to! stupid sand dunes . . .

Sara said...

CUTE Julia! When feeling blue: buy shoes, get pampered, redecorate house, get cast as fantastic blond bombshell! PS there are two adorable blond boys that worship you (oh and Cody) and several BFFs that think you are the most amazing person they have and will ever meet!

Nicole said...

Jewels, you are the cutest ever! I completely know how you feel! Last year I thought that once residency was over I would not have my husband gone for all by 4 hours a week. Sadly, work is the same. It's great being married to a doc (I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong), but and ER doc has the crappiest hours ever!! Between working, sleeping, and church callings I still ony get 4 hours a week with him if that. It's like I am a single Mom. Sometimes we call ourselves the widow's club.

So, the good news is that you have great friends who don't mind listening, you have a great husband who I am sure if he had it his way would not work that much either. You have a two adorable boys, and you are talented.

What does the doc order? Eddy's low-fat slow churned (the best) in what whatever flavor you love. A great flick after a nice walk, and for the 72 hours he is gone...do nothing but the necessities and chill.

I feel this way a ton too, but I am too scared to post it to the world.

Brittany said...

Jewelsy, I understand your heartache! I admire you being a new mother of TWO all alone to handle the home and still able to look so great and accomplish so much. We have to appreciate that our sweet husbands work so hard so we can stay at home with the kids. That said, sometimes it is damn hard being a stay at home mom and doing it alone! Nothing is more challenging in my opinion. So, days like this are totally justified!

Heather-Rita said...

Jewels - I think you are doing a great job being a mother of two! Everyone has those days...just hang in there! Plus, you are doing the most important job in this world...being a mom! And quite often you do it in stilettos! Go Jewels!

And with Halloween just around the corner you can have fun getting out all those great decorations of yours!

The Bakers said...

Man, oh man. Two kids and a workey workey husband. The life of a fire-fighter's wife. I could not do it, I admit it now. If Frank doesn't get home by 7:00, I'm all bummed out. Then all of our mid-week activities pile up and sometimes I just wish it would all go away. So I totally feel most of your pain...Perhaps we could do a quick lunch sometime soon?? Between getting off work and picking up the kiddos yah??

{lizzythebotanist} said...

here is why you post, even when there's nothing to post about: because people like me have nothing better to do! what would i do without my friends posts about nothing?