12.08.2007

Much to inform

Before we go any further, how key-yute is Cole in his little winter hat?? He looks like a little Russian, I could just eat him up!


Ok, moving on. We purchased our Christmas tree on Monday Night and as I mentioned before, we did indeed get a flocked tree! So festive, I just love it. Here are some photos of Cache and I browsing our options...
And here it is all bedecked in Holiday grandeur!


This orny is quite special in that this was Cody's the year he was born.
We let our boys pick out their very own orny each Christmas - Cache was kind enough to pick out Cole's for him and he did a stellar job. Cache chose a cool blue tin car for him and a silver piggy bank for Cole. I'll have to get some pictures and post them.

Now lets talk about today. Ahh, today. Today was a. difficult. day. (I wrote this late Friday night...) See, I have been wanting to get back into acting. Ask and ye shall receive - I have 3 auditions lined up. One tonight, one tomorrow morning and one Tuesday evening. Sweet! I'm all kinds of stoked. The audition tonight was for a musical that I'm not super familiar with, but the music is cool and I can sing it, so I thought I would give it a shot. My audition was tonight, so I wake up this morning all geared up and things just weren't going my way. We've all been getting over a random cold thing, so my voice is sort of sore and scratchy, and Cole's way of recovering from said cold is to be all kinds of fussy - crying, screaming...I couldn't get a blasted thing done. I was a the end of my rope around 4:00...I thought, "I can't audition tonight...there's no way, I just can't. I'm being selfish - I need to take care of my kids and my husband and my home". You know, all those thoughts you have when you're just at your wits end. I battled with what to do ALL afternoon until I finally decided to just suck it up and give it a shot. I head over and I walk in feeling confident, focused, centered. However, the longer I wait, the more nervous I get and the drier my throat feels. Not a drinking fountain in site. It's my turn, I walk in and see about 6 people behind a table. One of
them is a dear woman who directed the play I was in last Fall. Did I mention that no one was particularly chatty with me? I honestly don't know if anyone (other than Kathryn saying 'hello' with a little hug) said anything to me. The moment the first note comes out of my mouth, I realize that I'm crashing. And burning. Badly. IT WAS AWFUL. People - I was SO embarrassed I couldn't even see straight. The minute I got in my car I just fall apart. Hands covering the face, sobbing. I'm sure my hectic day didn't help with my emotions, but I just felt so...embarrassed and disappointed and...confused. I mean, I can sing. I'm not incredible, but I can sing. Why wasn't I able to sing in there?? Dry throat, yeah yeah yeah, but that certainly isn't what made me sound so bad. I called my Mom in tears and stopped by the Fire Station to see Cody. They helped - they did make me feel better. And since it's been hours since my horrible experience, I'm doing alright. All I can do is leave it in the past and go on to the next one. I may have bombed royally, but at least I did it, right? I can say that I have done it and never wonder 'what if'. Although...in this situation, it may have been better to wonder.

Cody is taking the boys to the Fire Station in PG tomorrow for a kids Christmas party to see Santa! I bought Cache a little gifty (so Santa can pull it out of his sack for Cache to unwrap) and I know he'll have the best time. The party is during my other audition, so hopefully I'll get done in time to see Cache and the big man! We're also getting our pictures taken for our Christmas cards tomorrow afternoon. I can't believe that Christmas is 2 1/2 weeks away! Better add a few more things to my Christmas list...

8 comments:

Heather-Rita said...

Your tree looks so great! Love it..and I love the little ornaments!

By the way~ I bet your audition wasn't nearly as bad as you think it was (those kinds of things never are what we imagine in our minds!) Plus...you will ace the next one ~ you have a great voice! Good luck!

{lizzythebotanist} said...

nash has a silver piggy bank ornament-it was his first one last year. from target-it's so super cute. he loves it so much that it's become an everyday item in his room. he giggles and has to touch it every time he sees it. your tree is so cute...

hope the rest of your auditions go more smoothly...i'm sure you'll be great!

Kateastrophe said...

I'm so sorry your audition didn't go as planned. You have an amazing voice and even more amazing acting chops to go along with it, and, like Heather said, it was probably a lot better than you think. I'm proud of you for going despite your awful day. Excuse my french, but that takes balls!!

I love you with all my heart and hope today was a much better day.

Kateastrophe said...

Oh, and Cole just might be the cutest, chubbiest baby I have EVER SEEN.

The Bastian's said...

Your kids are beautiful! I love it when you post pictures of them, and what a hot mama! I love that picture with you and Cache!~
I am sorry that the audition didn't go the way you had hoped, but maybe it will just free you up for something you want to do even more that is still to come? There is always a bright side! I belive that it always works out in the end, if its not better then it can't be the end. love ya girl!

Adam Harward said...

Cole looks like his father in the top two. In fact I think Code has a hat he used to wear exactly like that in high school.

No Where to Run ... said...

jewels--you are still so CA-YUTE i can't stand it! i looooove pink TOOO! yippee for modern design and i wish i could be so bold as to do a whole room in pink! my great grandmother did it, though...appliances and ALL! but that was the 40's...she was waaaaay before her time! love it! love yer blog! love you!!

oh snap said...

Audition-smadition- to hell with hoity-toity play types. Besides, that white coat.. a total smash. You're like Glamour Mom.