8.25.2008

To Whom It May Concern


Dear Mr. Conductor:

I understand that operating a huge piece of machinery like a train is a huge rush.  You must feel that you are on top of the world while driving a ginormous locomotive.  Why, my own Grandpa drove Santa Fe trains for a living, so I know the dedication you must have.

That being said, driving a train does not give you carte blanche to just blare your whistle at all hours of the night.  Over.  And over.  And over again.  For long periods of time.  Just because you wear striped overalls does not make it "Ok" to blow your horn as you zip past neighborhoods after midnight.  We get it - a train is coming - but enough, already!  What are you doing?  Who are you alerting?  "I'M A BIG TRAIN!!  AND HERE I COME!!  DO YOU SEE ME?  HUH?  HOW ABOUT NOW!?!?"  Is there a brick wall in your way?  A stubborn yak, maybe?  If so, I'm pretty sure that one short tug on the line will scare the hellfire out of any animal and if not?  Their loss.  But I, along with the other billions of people out there who have common sense, am begging you to give up your whistle obsession.  Take up scrabble or something, but give the cord a break, man.

Sincerely,
Julia Jolley 

9 comments:

Amelia Merritt said...

I used to live by the tracks and I SWEAR they do it on purpose to piss people off! I think they couple and recouple by slamming into each other on purpose, too, just to shake the walls really loudly so they feel like men. Like WWF.

I would love to have a sewing night. I am so close to being done with a couple things and just need to sit down and finish already! I'm in pre production most of this week tho. Maybe tomorrow night?? You free?

Jen said...

I know! I grew up in a town with NO trains or an Air Force Base near by, so it took me a while to get use to them. I'm still getting use to the jets from the base.

Maybe the conductors have a secret vandetta against society? They are evil!

{lizzythebotanist} said...

oh, man, i hear ya. when we lived over by UVSC. sorry, UVU it was the WORST! i really don't get it.

The Munchkin Patch said...

Be sure to check out our Back to School Bash going on at The Munchkin Patch!!

Kateastrophe said...

You are so hilarious. I love you.

THREE WEEEEEEKS!!!

Heather-Rita said...

They really do that on purpose...i know it!

Hope you are doing well! And congrats on getting the part in the play! That will be a fun Halloween one for sure!!!

Lucrecia said...

Ditto! Ditto! Ditto! By my house we have a train that stops mid intersection for who knows how long!

The Bakers said...

I've so been on that side of the tracks...my house even rumbled...

~j. said...

This made me laugh when I read it last week, and each night, at 1:30, when I'm punch-drunk and hear the train...I go a little bit crazy.