Dear Mr. Conductor:
I understand that operating a huge piece of machinery like a train is a huge rush. You must feel that you are on top of the world while driving a ginormous locomotive. Why, my own Grandpa drove Santa Fe trains for a living, so I know the dedication you must have.
That being said, driving a train does not give you carte blanche to just blare your whistle at all hours of the night. Over. And over. And over again. For long periods of time. Just because you wear striped overalls does not make it "Ok" to blow your horn as you zip past neighborhoods after midnight. We get it - a train is coming - but enough, already! What are you doing? Who are you alerting? "I'M A BIG TRAIN!! AND HERE I COME!! DO YOU SEE ME? HUH? HOW ABOUT NOW!?!?" Is there a brick wall in your way? A stubborn yak, maybe? If so, I'm pretty sure that one short tug on the line will scare the hellfire out of any animal and if not? Their loss. But I, along with the other billions of people out there who have common sense, am begging you to give up your whistle obsession. Take up scrabble or something, but give the cord a break, man.