I often complain about how my home is never in the shape I want it in. There is always a project I want done or a room I want painted. When people come in my home, I generally shower them with disclaimers about my house - "Oh, we're painting soon, that's why the room looks like this", or "Excuse the mess, this is the room that time forgot", like they're going to disown me because my house isn't impeccable 24/7. While my friends and family have been overly forgiving with pats on the back and comments like, "Oh, we don't care!", I have always felt self-conscience about my house.
And I'm sick of it.
Do I want my house clean? Yes. Do I want it to look cool? Yes. Do I want it to reflect who Cody and I are? Yes. Is that always possible? No. While I would love to have a home like my parents (all done and furnished), it's not going to happen. It's taken them 35 years to get to that point - why in the world should I pressure myself into having "that house" in under 5? Each time I go to my sister's house, I sigh and think, "Man...I would love this". Um, she's been working on her home for over 11 years! And they still have projects in the works.
This is what I've decided. While I can't always control the state of my home, what I can control is the feeling that people have when they come here. I want my home to feel warm, inviting, comfortable, 'lived in'. I don't want my friends to feel like they can't open our fridge for a drink or put their feet on our coffee table. I want people to love being here - to enjoy themselves and relax, feel welcome. I realize that the best way to achieve that atmosphere is by changing my attitude, my anxiousness when people come over. As my wise friend Brittany said when I was feeling overwhelmed, "You know what? My children and husband are fed, they are dressed, we are happy - so what if there are dust bunnies under the fridge or if there's laundry on the couch?"
So! I'm stopping the madness. No more will I make excuses for how my house looks - this is where we live, how we live, what we live in and we are blissfully happy! Transforming your home into your ideal dwelling takes time, trial and error. I'm sure Cody and I will always have projects to do and things we want to change. Our house will certainly be in disarray at times when people drop by, that's the way life is. But as long as people keep coming by...well then, I guess that means I'm doing something right!
That being said, here are my 5 thankfuls...
1 - Our home. Yeah, I went there. I feel very, very blessed that Cody and I have a home to call our own.
2 - My mother, for teaching me the 'Toothbug' song. I sing it to Cache every night before we brush his teeth.
3 - My brothers, Marty and Richard. They are two of the most outstanding men I have ever met and I am so proud of them!
4 - My testimony of the Gospel - the knowledge of something so solid.
5 - Cody. For picking me.